Caregiver Story: The Best Laid Plans

By Catherine Wood
Moffitt Caregiver

If there was one thing I could go back and tell myself, it would be this quote. When my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer my world was turned upside down. We had everything going for us, a loving relationship and a perfect 3-year- old daughter. In March of 2019 when Kyle got the diagnosis, I was nine months pregnant with our second child. Cancer was not in our plan.

With no local family to help, I became the primary caregiver to two small children and my husband. My days were full with scheduling appointments and providing medical care while also changing diapers and potty training. I have always taken pride in my independence. As someone who never asked for help, I was quickly overwhelmed carrying the weight of three other lives on my shoulders.

I did my best on my own, but I was struggling. Kyle and I were extremely private about his diagnosis, which limited my available outlets for stress relief.

With the suggestion of a dear friend, I sought professional help. This gave me a safe place to openly and honestly share my thoughts and fears. This became, and remains, my main form of self-care. It is how I continue to cope with not only Kyle's diagnosis and what that means for our family, but the normal things that life throws at me that I would not have been able to handle almost four years ago.

Throughout this journey, I learned a lot about myself. Although I am capable of a lot, I need to be open and ask others for help. In being open about my struggles, I have gained such a supportive community of local moms. I have developed a close friendship with another mom who is also the caretaker of a husband with brain cancer. When they say it takes a village, they really mean it.

Moffitt recognizes that caregivers are a vital part of a patient’s care team. We offer many services, including support groups. Visit Moffitt.org/Caregivers-Families to find more resources for caregivers.